Why Is Self Acceptance So Challenging?
One would think that there would be no trick or difficulty in simply being – and accepting – oneself. After all, that’s who you are, right? And yet it feels that so many of us find ourselves wrapped up in layer after layer of costume and garb from role after role we find ourselves taking on in life.
When we are not accepting and allowing ourselves to be who we are, what, then, are we doing? We are resisting, on one level or another, whether we are aware of it or not. And resistance takes energy. Overcoming it releases that energy back into your life.
How would it feel to peel away all those layers and see what’s really there at the core? What would it be like to drop all of the roles that you have played in life? To “just be you” whenever and wherever?
What gets in the way?
Medicine from the Mountain
I took a somewhat spontaneous road trip last August to Taos, New Mexico. I had never been in that area before and had no idea what to expect, which is always a wonderful thing from my perspective. Taos is a mountain village. I was utterly unable to capture the massive size or impressiveness of the mountain in a photograph, although here’s one attempt…
What happened after a few days in the area caught me off guard. I was driving down the road and felt that this mountain was giving me a very simple, powerful, and direct message: “Be One Thing“.
At first, I thought this was pretty cool. I thought “hey, I got a message from the mountain!” and then laughed because it sounds so cheesy. And then stopped laughing because… well, look at that thing. It doesn’t invite a lot of laughter.
I didn’t think a lot about this until the long drive back to Chicago. By that point, I was beginning to realize that I had been incredibly dispersed in my energies for a long time. Chasing a lot of shiny objects, if you know what I mean. And now, looking back, I see that I went to Taos to get grounded and centered. On an energetic level, I was seeking this healing… this medicine. The Mountain wasn’t butting into my business or telling me what to do. It was helping me see my way through the mess I had created.
The mountain may be a force to reckon with, but so is my own stubbornness and denial. By late fall, I had fallen back into my old ways. Chasing more shiny objects and wanting to save the world in the process. Like that’s somehow my job. I spent a crazy amount of time and energy dreaming up this idea called Thrivelocity. I did tons of research, started writing code, and envisioned this huge way I could bring together all sorts of cool people and connect them with others and… yep, heal the world in the process.
After several months of that hamster wheel, I crashed and burned. Exhausted and burned out and not realizing why.
That’s when the message from the mountain hit me over the head like one of those giant cartoon hammers. After the big ol’ “DONK” sound, it was starting to become clear – I was still trying to be more than “just” ME. In all of my hurried activity and busyness, I was actually avoiding my own inner knowing, inner voice, and recognizing where I get my true joy from in life.
Joy Is Nourishment
No matter how “right” you may feel in your actions, and no matter how obligated you tell yourself you are…. if there is no joy in your life, it’s only a matter of time before you wake up one day drained and feeling like you are sinking.
This is something I encounter doing energy work for others all of the time. And quite honestly, when I talk to clients about rekindling joy in their lives, it’s not entirely uncommon to get that look… like “yeah, right. Joy. Like I have time for that.”
And here I was getting stuck in same quicksand of joyless activity.
All too often, we think we have to have it all figured out, or have to have permission or approval from others to do what we came here to do. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
You Already Are Who You Are – No Effort Is Required
It is becoming clearer all of the time. Much of my work in this lifetime is to help uncover more and more about the truth of who we truly are. It’s fascinating work because on the one hand, it’s effortless. The truth is there. Like the mountain, it doesn’t need to be created. It just is.
So why is it so hard? That’s the magic question.
Why is it so hard to accept ourselves completely? Why are we not our own best friend, and strongest advocate? Why do we hesitate to share and promote ourselves in genuine and loving ways? What gets in the way?
What gets in the way for you?
In sharing some of my ongoing journey through this challenge, my hope is that it stirs some thoughts and energies for you as well.
I have experienced truly huge and profound breakthroughs since last fall. I give a lot of credit to the Taos Mountain for the message that rattled my cage in a deep way. It could have told me to be 100 different things and I would have happily scampered off to learn this, that, and the other and put on a bunch of different masks in order to please and try to fix others. Nope. Nope. Nope. The real work, as it always is, was inside of me.
My goal is to make it easy for you to know how to connect and work with me. So please let me know if I can help you figure out what gets in the way of You Being You and Doing What You Came Here to Do.