This is perhaps unconventional wisdom for moving ahead in life – for when you feel stuck or like there’s a better life for you just over the horizon and you really want to do what you can to be sure you actually reach that destination.
First, a Little Background
I started this post a long time ago, thinking I would have a logical and reliable process to share when it came time to write it.
After all, I had completed a great coach training program, and hired a coach myself before that. So of course, there must be a process one can follow to find a great coach, right?
The best I could seem to come up with at the time was to do what most of us end up doing anyway – googling, asking around, and talking to a few people and prospective coaches. Not exactly exciting stuff to fill a blog post about.
I am in a new place myself from where I was when I created the first draft of this post earlier in the year. I am much more aware of aspects of self that are active below the radar of the physical conscious mind, and much more trusting of that inner voice.
This, to me, is the real key to finding a great coach. Learning to be aware of your inner voice, learning how to hear it, and then learning to trust it.
You may call it “intuition”, but my sense is that this word over simplifies things. I say this because in my work, it’s become clear that we have many different forms of intuition. You have a different form of it for each major chakra, for example. And there’s more going on than that.
So let’s keep things simple but not too simple, and focus in on your inner voice, a part of you that is working problems out in the vastness of your un-subconscious. A part of you that is always communicating with you in one way or another.
First, it may good to go ahead and relax the physical, logical, linear part of your mind. If it helps, you can go ahead and do your googling and asking friends for referrals. This can still be a very important part of the process.
Trust also that way more is going on here than meets the eye. You’ll likely think of just the right people to reach out to when it comes time to email or call an old contact. The timing will be just right, and chances are that you’ll end up with more happening than just getting the name of a coach or two. Or maybe that other stuff will be far more important in a few cases, whether or not you even end up with a referral to a coach.
An important part of what you’ll be doing is asking for the name of a great coach. So it will be helpful to pause and write down what would make a great coach for you. The for you part is very important.
This is what is so exciting and yet also so overwhelming and confusing about the world of personal and professional coaching right now. There are a LOT of talented people doing this type of work. Not all coaches even tell the world that they are coaching. Some do it “on the side”, but don’t let that fool you – such a person could still turn out to be the perfect coach for you.
The key is to ask yourself what you’re really looking for. And then listen to what comes back. Don’t filter it. Don’t justify it. Just listen to it.
Maybe you want validation. Maybe you want someone to kick you in the ass until you get your game in order. Maybe you want a softer touch, and to just have someone to listen as you process.
At this stage, don’t try to second guess what any particular prospective coach will or won’t do for you. Just listen to yourself as you uncover what you want and if possible, why you want it.
What’s happening energetically…
At an energetic level, when you “ask”, you are sending out a signal and connecting with others on a soul level. This plays out in a place not limited by time and space. I know that may sound far-fetched, but it’s the best way to articulate it.
Here’s an example of how this can work. You may wake up on a Monday, formulate your “ask”, and unknowingly hit the “send” button. A coach’s higher-self picks it up and determines whether or not there is alignment… if yes, that coach’s higher-self guides that coach to post a blog post the week before you will be searching the web for material related to what you care about.
This level of energy is always about free will and alignment or resonance.
There’s a reason we use these two words together. Attention is a limited resource for the physical mind. Spend it wisely. There’s also a saying that “where attention goes, energy flows”. So pay attention to what begins to happen around you when you start asking for a great coach.
Pay attention to synchronicities. What kinds of things are you coming across all of a sudden in your work? Online? Or even in the books, music, radio programs, or television you consume?
Your rational mind may swoop in and say “that’s just concidence” or “confirmation bias”. Yeah, OK… it’s also entirely possible that this is your inner voice’s way of communicating with you. When it sees something in your environment that it wants you to pay attention to, it will find a way to let that be known. When you pay attention to that form of communication, it strengthens because you are nourishing it with energy.
This part of the journey can be a blast or terrifying or anything in between, depending on where you’re at. If you’re in a good place, go for it and enjoy it – see what shows up. See who shows up. Talk openly about what you’re looking for and listen to the response – from others, from yourself, from your environment. Allow things to unfold the way that they are intended to unfold. This is where the magic happens!
If you are feeling vulnerable in some way, take your time with it all. Be forgiving towards yourself first and foremost, and take the steps you feel safe taking. Life is full of opportunities. If one ship sails away, know that many more will arrive, and the right one for you will reveal itself.
Allowing is fundamentally about acceptance of self and the world around you, and from that place of balance and neutrality – letting things happen in the best way possible. It’s about transcending ego and personality and realizing you really are one aspect of a collective Wholeness that is not easily or fully perceived through the tiny fisheye lens of the human’s physical mind.
Take Notes and Gather Evidence
If any part of you is skeptical about what I am sharing here, good. To me, that’s simply a sign that you’re assessing how to ground these ideas into your “real” world experience!
Here’s one way to go about that. Give it a try. Play the “what if” game. What if he’s right? What if this is how it works? What’s the harm in giving it a go?
Then take notes. Start a daily journal, or just open a note taking app on your smart phone whenever something even slightly out of the ordinary happens. Get in the habit of simply observing. Separate out the responsibility of observing from the responsibility of making sense of it. Observe, take notes, and only then at a later point might you want to come back around and assess.
The reason why this is important is because while you are observing, you are strengthening the communication channels, and all the while, the deeper inner voice is already figuring things out. We put way too much pressure on our physical mind to understand everything, when that’s not what it was designed to do!
So take notes and gather evidence – pro or con. Chances are, before you even find yourself needing to assess whether or not it’s working, you’ll have your hands full with great referrals of very interesting people – some of whom you probably couldn’t have even imagined existing before you started down this path.